My favorite days are the rare day off from work where no one texts me, no one calls me to ask a favor or have me work, no one calls or texts so they can bitch about how terrible everything is. My phone is literally silent all day long. But since that bullshit situation is as rare as seeing a fucking pegasus, I’m just gonna enable the Do Not Disturb function and pretend I lost my phone for the next 25 hours because a malevolent hell pegasus flew into my room, ate my phone, and knocked me out with its fire hoof.